This post is being made out of frustration from one of my friends, who means well but doesn't understand.
If you have someone like him, or want to show someone more about their mental illness, be a gem and link it to them. ♡
Now, lets get down to business!
(to defeat the huns)
Mental illness isn't a choice. I can't name a single person who would wake up one morning and think, "today I think I'm gonna be depressed."
In saying that, I wouldn't want anyone to choose that. If someone tried to be depressed, I would smack them so hard! (fyi, I'm a first degree black belt, so that would be one hell of a smack)
Mental illness isn't something we can switch on and off either. Sure, we can be happy sometimes and sad other times. We don't pick and choose, it just happens. You might be at a party with your friends, eating cake and ice-cream, and you could be the saddest you've felt all year. You didn't choose to be sad then, you just are.
That being said, you can't force happiness onto us either. It's a nice gesture to say "awh, no need to be sad, cheer up", but if you push it any more than that, then you deserve a smack.
Suffering from a mental illness, like depression, can sometimes be like having an extra voice in your mind. It whispers to you, its voice can seem as rich and smooth as honey when you're unhappy. But in reality, it's trying to lure you into doing thing you know you'll regret but can't fight.
So, having depression trying to convince you suicide is a good idea, having your own mind telling you it's not, and having someone trying to force you to be happy is just too much.
Because of all the thoughts pushing through our minds, we're too tired to keep up much of a fight.
Another thing about sadness, is that it's complete different to depression.
Sadness, you have a reason and it can pass by relatively quickly. Depression is different. Sometimes you don't know what your trigger is, and how long it'll take for you to be okay.
That's another reason why we can't be forced to be happy, sometimes we just can't be happy.
However, what you can do for someone with depression is to distract them from their extra voices.
If they don't want it, don't force them.
But, if they don't explicitly tell you to stop, go ahead!
Talk about shows they like, suggest books to them, make them a cup of tea, tell them that embarrassing thing a teacher said, watch weird or random YouTube videos with them, anything to distract them from their own mind.
If you can do those things, then you're being a good friend.
If you can't, either learn to or piss off. It can be sweet, but sometimes it's better if you don't hang around them until you can learn to help your friend.
Being a helpful friend, you might just stop your friends suicide tonight.
If you ever need to have a supportive friend, email me on firstname.lastname@example.org
I'll always be here my darlings, just hold on. ♡