Monday 1 June 2015

Love.

Today, I want to talk about love.
(Possible trigger warnings but it gets sweet in the end)

It hurts, doesn't it. When you love someone but they don't return your feelings. It feels hopeless, doesn't it.

But it doesn't have to be like that.

There will always, always, be someone who loves you. It doesn't have to be an intimate love, like so many people yearn for. It's your family, your friends, your teachers, your co-workers, your pets. It's the little things that matter.
It's asking how your day was, offering to buy you a hot chocolate on a cold day, letting you have their left over McDonald's fries, walking you home when it's out of their way, and so on.

That sort of love, in my mind, is more important than any kind of intimate love.

And that's the love I feel for all of my little darlings. ♡

Today I want to tell you, that I know it can be hard and that you're going through a rough patch in your life. I don't know your name, your story, your experiences, you likes and dislikes, but I know that I love you very much. And I'm very proud of you for trying in this evil world.
Life will beat you down, like it beats everyone down, and all I ask of you my darling, is to please get back up. Every time you get back up, you get stronger, and the world gets weaker.
Its okay if it's hard to get up, and you stay down for a while. If that's the best you can do for now, then I'm proud of you.
If you ever need me my darlings, my email is little.kiwi.girl3@gmail.com and I'll be here for you. ♡
Whenever you feel abandoned or alone, remember that I'm here for you darlings. ♡

Peer pressure from those who are supposed to help.

Possible trigger warnings, don't read unless you feel up to it darling. ♡

So I've only ever had one therapist that I trusted, and years ago she went on maternity leave. Before she left, she told her replacement, "Don't push Angel into anything. Don't force her to come or appointments, or make decisions for her. She's stubborn, and is very opinionated. If you do any of these, it'll do more harm to her than good."
That therapist had to learn that the hard way, she started trying to force me into more appointments but I skipped every one of them. She learned that it was better to do things on my own terms, or there's nothing to discuss.

But my current therapist isn't living up to this.

I've skipped appointments and ignored her for almost a month, because the last time I saw her she brought me to tears because she wouldn't stop trying to force me to do something I didn't want to do.

Tomorrow I'm going to have a meeting with her, and tell her to stop forcing me into thing I don't want to do. I'll try to make it as civil as possible.
But, knowing my foul temper, if she pushes too hard I'll happily tell her where she can stick it. Right up her butt!

(sigh), I'm sorry my darlings that I haven't been posting recently. I've been having a hard time putting my thoughts into words.
And I'm sorry that my first post in a while is so negative.

I promise, I'll post something cute tomorrow. ♡
Have a good night my darling, I love you. Stay strong, for us both. ♡