It gets so hard sometimes.

It's gets really hard, you know?
It gets really hard to keep on trying and to hold on.

People keep kicking you down and pushing your face into the dirt.

And sometimes, you just want to stay there. You want to lay on the ground and turn into dirt so you never have to get up again.

People tell you to just get up, and that it's not so hard.
But sometimes it feels like there's a thousand tonnes on your back, like you're being weighed down with all your pain and all your hurt.

Right now, I know exactly how that feels. I just want to go to sleep forever, and never have to wake up. I'm not dead, but I won't be alive either.
I'll be motionless, trapped it a state of bliss for all eternity.

But I know, I can't be like this.

I need to try to get back up again, no matter how hard it is, no matter how long it takes, and no matter how many people kick me down again.

Because I know there are people who want me to keep getting up, no, need me to keep getting up.

I'll do it again, and again, and again, for as long as I need to.

You'll find those people one day, it might seem hopeless and hard but you will. You'll find people who need you just as much as I do.

Remember my darling, you just need to soldier on. You're doing such a good job. I believe in you. ♥