Peer pressure from those who are supposed to help.

Possible trigger warnings, don't read unless you feel up to it darling. ♡

So I've only ever had one therapist that I trusted, and years ago she went on maternity leave. Before she left, she told her replacement, "Don't push Angel into anything. Don't force her to come or appointments, or make decisions for her. She's stubborn, and is very opinionated. If you do any of these, it'll do more harm to her than good."
That therapist had to learn that the hard way, she started trying to force me into more appointments but I skipped every one of them. She learned that it was better to do things on my own terms, or there's nothing to discuss.

But my current therapist isn't living up to this.

I've skipped appointments and ignored her for almost a month, because the last time I saw her she brought me to tears because she wouldn't stop trying to force me to do something I didn't want to do.

Tomorrow I'm going to have a meeting with her, and tell her to stop forcing me into thing I don't want to do. I'll try to make it as civil as possible.
But, knowing my foul temper, if she pushes too hard I'll happily tell her where she can stick it. Right up her butt!

(sigh), I'm sorry my darlings that I haven't been posting recently. I've been having a hard time putting my thoughts into words.
And I'm sorry that my first post in a while is so negative.

I promise, I'll post something cute tomorrow. ♡
Have a good night my darling, I love you. Stay strong, for us both. ♡

He's been playing his video games more than he's been talking to me at school.

The only time I get to spend time with my boyfriend is at lunch at school, after school on Wednesday, and on the weekend every two weeks.

And recently, he's been playing his stupid video games more than he's been paying attention to me.

We have a friendship group of about 12, and most of them have been ignoring me recently because I'm a miserable piece of shit. My boyfriend is the only one who consistently talks to me at lunch and now I'm losing him too.

This is unfair, I don't have any classes with him so all I want is to talk to him at lunch.

This isn't fair.

Why are teachers so cruel?

I'm stuck in psychology at school, because there aren't any other subjects I can go into.

I recently missed an important SAC because I had to have a meeting with a group of counsellors and therapists about being on suicide watch.

My psych teacher has been really rude to me since and is always really harsh towards me when I talk to her.

Oh, I'm sorry that I wanted to die Mrs Watson, it's so rude of me to not think about my grades when my depression is trying to kill me.
You're absolutely right, it's unacceptable of me to sleek help and stop trying to kill myself.
Because, obviously, GRADES ARE MORE IMPORTANT THAN MY LIFE.

Antisocial family and raging hormones.

I don't bring my boyfriend to my house much, because my family would treat him poorly.

So I go to his house a lot.

His family are kinda antisocial. His two siblings, 16 and 21, have Asperger's syndrome - if you don't know what that is I'll provide a link.

So, knowing that, the only time they leave the house is for school and work.

Nick and I have been...how to put it gently........extremely romantically active...for a while now and he likes to do some...stuff...whenever we can because it's good for my depression.

Well, woopdeedoo, they can hear us through the walls.

I'm not saying Nick and I have crazy, animal sex. We've had sex, but we don't do it often. We mostly do handsy stuff, since that can be quiet.

But they can still hear it.

Today, one of Nicks sisters-friend told me how she complains a lot about how she can hear everything we say and do. I obviously told him we do it to creep her out most of the time.
My sister-in-law, so to speak, and I don't actually get along. We like a few bands, we both do art, we both like the same teachers, we're both depressed, that's all we have in common. I don't like her, because she's a rude human to everyone.

Look, I don't care what she thinks or says. I stopped caring a long time ago.

But she should complain to this friend, who I'm kinda fond of, and tell him things that aren't important to him.

Honestly, she makes me so angry.