And I'm officially back on the meds.

Hello my lovelies.
Today I went back on my meds, after nearly a month without.
If there was only one piece of advice I could ever give, the most important thing I think you should know, it would be to not skip out on your antidepressants.

Sure you might not think they work, or they taste gross, or its too much hassle, keep taking them anyway.

The withdrawal symptoms are worse.

I'm a pretty healthy person, besides all my internal chemicals.
That's one of the reasons why I have depression. I get pretty bad headaches and dizzy spells every few days, it's normal for me.
But those, toppled with chemically withdrawal, is hell!

So today my darlings, I ask you to please keep taking your medication. The happiness is worth the hassle. ♡

I love you, stay strong beautiful. ♡

To those who don't understand mental illness, let me tell you a thing!

This post is being made out of frustration from one of my friends, who means well but doesn't understand.

If you have someone like him, or want to show someone more about their mental illness, be a gem and link it to them. ♡

Now, lets get down to business!
(to defeat the huns)

Mental illness isn't a choice. I can't name a single person who would wake up one morning and think, "today I think I'm gonna be depressed."
In saying that, I wouldn't want anyone to choose that. If someone tried to be depressed, I would smack them so hard! (fyi, I'm a first degree black belt, so that would be one hell of a smack)

Mental illness isn't something we can switch on and off either. Sure, we can be happy sometimes and sad other times. We don't pick and choose, it just happens. You might be at a party with your friends, eating cake and ice-cream, and you could be the saddest you've felt all year. You didn't choose to be sad then, you just are.

That being said, you can't force happiness onto us either. It's a nice gesture to say "awh, no need to be sad, cheer up", but if you push it any more than that, then you deserve a smack.
Suffering from a mental illness, like depression, can sometimes be like having an extra voice in your mind. It whispers to you, its voice can seem as rich and smooth as honey when you're unhappy. But in reality, it's trying to lure you into doing thing you know you'll regret but can't fight.
So, having depression trying to convince you suicide is a good idea, having your own mind telling you it's not, and having someone trying to force you to be happy is just too much.

Because of all the thoughts pushing through our minds, we're too tired to keep up much of a fight.

Another thing about sadness, is that it's complete different to depression.
Sadness, you have a reason and it can pass by relatively quickly. Depression is different. Sometimes you don't know what your trigger is, and how long it'll take for you to be okay.
That's another reason why we can't be forced to be happy, sometimes we just can't be happy.

However, what you can do for someone with depression is to distract them from their extra voices.
If they don't want it, don't force them.
But, if they don't explicitly tell you to stop, go ahead!
Talk about shows they like, suggest books to them, make them a cup of tea, tell them that embarrassing thing a teacher said, watch weird or random YouTube videos with them, anything to distract them from their own mind.

If you can do those things, then you're being a good friend.
If you can't, either learn to or piss off. It can be sweet, but sometimes it's better if you don't hang around them until you can learn to help your friend.

Being a helpful friend, you might just stop your friends suicide tonight.

~~~~

If you ever need to have a supportive friend, email me on little.kiwi.girl3@gmail.com

I'll always be here my darlings, just hold on. ♡

Can I ask a favour?

I don't really mind what happens to this blog, as long as I can keep posting as a form of therapy, and help people then I'm happy. ♡

But, I want to be able to reach more people, make some friends and help out others in similar situations. ♡

So, now I pose a question.

What sort of stuff should I post about? More advice, more rants, about my day, what? ♡

I'd love to know, I want to be able to branch out to a wider community and help even a little. ♡

Thanks again my darlings, you look stunning today. ♡

Music Advice. ♡

So I came to a conclusion recently.

The way I cope with my depression falls heavily on what sort of music listen to.

I mostly listen to Black Veil Brides and My Chemical Romance, but I listen to an array of other things too.

So, today, I want to talk about the music you chose to listen to when you're feeling depressed.

**clears throat**

When you're down in the dumps, you want to know that you're not the only one feeling these feelings. And that's a completely normal thing to do.
However, sometimes that can do more harm than good.
Personally, my depression has been acting up recently. It's been getting harder to manage by myself, so I've been listening to A LOT of Three Cheers for Sweet Revenge.
After looking through my iTunes and remembering I hadn't listening to BVB's newest album much, I listened to Heart of Fire.
I realised then that my music effects my depression.
Black Veil Brides makes me feel powerful, and Andy's screams helps to calm me down because I feel like he's screaming out for me.
Whereas My Chemical Romance makes me feel normal, like it's okay to be miserable sometimes. And it's okay to not be okay.

But because I had been listening to so much My Chem, my mind wasn't controlling my depression as much because it kept thinking that it's okay to be miserable.

All I can say is...oops.

So, now for the advice part of this rant.

Sit down and think about the music you listen to. Think about how the vocalists voice makes you feel, how the guitars make you relaxed, how the drums rock you to sleep.
Think about all these things, and consider, "is this the sort of music I should be listening to right now?"

If the answer is no, then listen to another band or find a new one. Change it up, or change kid pace. You'll find that it can really change how you think about your depression. ♡

If the answer is yes, then listening away my darling. ♡
And please try to remember what I said when the answer is no.

You music should be helping you, not making your depression take control.

Its okay my darling, it'll get better soon. ♡
And your music will help that. ♡

Things I like to do when sad. ♥

To help you get to know me, or to help you if you need it, I'm going to tell you what I do when I'm sad to cheer myself up. ♥

#1: watch anime.
Anime isn't for everyone, I know that pretty well. So, if you don't like anime, replace it with a tv show or movie.
I like to watch funny anime or something I can immerse myself in. Things like Kuroku no Basuket, Fairy Tail, WataMote, Hetalia, Death Note, Highschool DxD, anything like that.
(Yeah I said DxD, I'm a pervert and proud)
Just watch something you enjoy, and something you could never get tired of. ♥

#2: Make paper cranes.
I also know that origami isn't for everyone, but it's a very good brain exercise and I suggest everyone should try it at least once in their lives.
I first learned to make them after I read the book, 'Sadako and the Thousand Paper Cranes'. It's mainly a kids book. I was inspired to make them as a child, so making them when I'm sad brings back very fond memories for me. ♥

#3: Listen to music.
And I don't mean sad songs from Simple Plan or Evanescence. You can listen to them, but not the sad stuff like Welcome to my Life.
Listen to your favourite band or singer, but some of their happier works. I like to listen to Na Na Na Na or In The End or She's So Perfect or something like that. Anything that you're into. ♥

#4: Drink tea.
Yeah, not everyone likes tea. Maybe a hot chocolate, or coffee, or just warm milk. I think that a nice, warm beverage helps everything. I always drink tea when I'm sad, stressed, depressed, or anything negative.

#5: Talk to people who understand.
Not everyone has something like this, so that's when I suggest you talk to a professional or someone online who is going through the same thing. Stay safe online though. ♥
My person to talk to is my boyfriend, Nick. He was the one who took me to see doctors about depression and his family supports me for it. To be honest, he knows what I'm like when I'm depressed better than anyone else.
We barely talk about anything important, he just tries to distract me from my misery without triggering me. And that's all you need.
I'll always be here, if you need me to be your someone. ♥

Well, I think that's enough advise for the night, its getting pretty late.

As always, I love you darling and you're doing a good job. ♥